This past week several of us from the Homeschool Better Together team took a planning course. It is for women entrepreneurs and is definitely from a secular perspective. We were reviewing it on several different levels and there were good things we liked and things we didn’t all mixed up together.
One of the first things the course discussed is our “Want-To”s … what do we want to do next year? We can quibble all day about the terminology and presentation, but I do believe that the Lord uses our personality and properly ordered desires to direct our paths and choices. He’s not surprised by who we are and who he’s making us to be. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t choose “want-to” as a theme, but the process did cause some helpful, prayerful reflection.
One of the prompts she used in this section was what did first-grade you want?
First grade me wanted to be a grownup, a wife, a mother, and a teacher. I’ve been so blessed to be able to do that for all of these years; the Lord has truly given me the desire of my heart. Many of those roles will continue on, of course, but look quite different.
Now I have a new question:
What do I want to be once my kids grow up?
It’s not exactly an existential crisis. I’m pretty comfortable that the Lord will have service for me to perform. I acknowledge the truth that I am not my own, but I am thinking and praying about what that might look like while I wait.
I’ve been given different roles or vocations. Different gifts. Different spaces – the broadness of internet friendships and platforms regularly surprises me. I’ve been given specific interests; I mean Educational Philosophy and History are pretty niche, and don’t seem to be solely related to my day-in, day-out work of homeschooling. These things are meant to be put into service to the Kingdom, I’m just not quite sure how … How do they love the Lord with heart, soul, mind, and strength? How do they love my neighbor as myself? How are they taking up my cross and following Jesus?
I’ll admit to being surprised by this time of transition, where I’m still homeschooling one child full time. I don’t want to lose focus on her – she gets to have this year and a half of attention and love. But I am sort of wondering what next steps there are.
I have some ideas for 2024. I’ve selected my Word for 2024. I’m excited for the next stages and curious as to what the Lord has in store. Keeping my eyes set on Jesus while trying to be faithful to prepare for whatever is next.