Motivations Matter: The Gospel Bounds the Homeschool

I was very honored to be asked to host a breakout session about homeschooling at our Presbytery’s fall 2025 Women’s Retreat. Our retreat speaker was Sarah Eekhoff Zylstra who co-authored the book “Gospelbound” which, perhaps, informs my title. I made some comments for about 30 minutes and then opened the floor for questions. I thought I’d type up some of what I said (or meant to say) from my notes here for you.

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When I was little I wanted to be a mom. I was one of those oldest daughters who wanted to be a grownup. As I went to school and saw the work that my grandmother and mom did, I wanted to be a teacher. Well, except for fifth grade when I wanted to be an FBI agent – too much Trixie Belden and Nancy Drew I suspect

My grandma was that fifth grade teacher you didn’t want to get, but by the time you graduated high school you were glad you had. She was one of the old-school, still had a board on her wall in the 1980s teachers. If you know you know.

When I was in college (studying education), a friend told me she was going to teach her kids herself at home. My first question “Is that even legal?” As I learned more, I was all on-board. (Thanks, Heather!)

When I started to date my husband and things looked like they were going forward, I broached the idea of homeschooling. I’ve learned recently that he didn’t realize that was a deal-breaker for me. I knew we had to both be on the same page for an issue like that, or marriage wouldn’t work. Happily, his mom was homeschooling his younger brother in middle school and he saw the benefits.

Interestingly, we came at it from slightly different directions. I was all up in my head about a “Christian Education” (not knowing what I meant by that beyond not simply slapping Bible verses on math worksheets) and he saw teacher-student ratios and less homework. Turns out we were both right.

High-minded ideals

I do think the Gospel is integral to a Christian homeschool. I was looking up “bound” and it’s one of those words which has a host of meanings.

• to be bound is to be tied to – and the Christian homeschool ought to be tied to the Gospel;
• but you can also be bounded by – and there is a sense where we have boundaries that we ought not to cross;
• we ought to be bound for the Celestial City; to be bound indicates a destination;
• and finally we can bound like Tigger – with joy and enthusiasm.

One of the ways that I think the Gospel binds us is stated in Deuteronomy and then also by Jesus (I’ll quote from Mark.)

Deuteronomy 6:4–9 (emphases mine)

[4] “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. [5] You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. [6] And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. [7] You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. [8] You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. [9] You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (ESV))

Mark 12:28-31 (again, emphasis mine)

[28] And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, “Which commandment is the most important of all?” [29] Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. [30] And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ [31] The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” (ESV)

If we believe, as the Catechism for Young Children teaches us, “All my fellow men are my neighbors.” then my nearest neighbors are my husband and my children and teaching those children to love the Lord with heart, soul, mind, and strength is a duty I’m bound to.

There are other passages: be transformed by the renewal of your mind, take every thought captive.

I do think the part of the Deuteronomy passage is particularly convicting where we are told to speak of these things with our children … all of the time – when you rise, sit, walk, stand, lie down. That the Lord and the gospel are to be on your mind and in your conversation.

Challenges Frustrations Sanctification

Not that I have obtained all this.

Homeschooling is hard. It’s a lot of work. Consistency is a challenge. Motivation will fail you. It doesn’t look like the fantasy we build in our heads (sitting by the fire, drinking hot cocoa, doing handicrafts while mom reads aloud – never once happened in my house). There are discipline issues, there’s bickering. The kids want their own agenda and don’t want to do the work. I don’t know all of the things I ought to know – I have to learn things, too.

It’s hard to manage the house and the bills and the mail and the …

The calendar is overfull – how do you eat dinner and go to soccer and music lessons and … and … and …

And it can be hard to remind yourself that you must exercise authority. And that you exercise authority as one under authority. You, too, will have to stand before the Judgement someday …

It’s intimidating. Jesus says that “a disciple, when he is fully trained, will be like his teacher.” (Matthew 10:24-25 and Luke 6:40) Phew. That’s really scary.

There were days I cried on my bed. There were days I simply failed. There were weeks where not much got accomplished. We scraped the bottom of the dresser for clean underclothes. Dinners were questionable. It’s hard.

But it’s good. Cast your cares on Him for he cares for you. And He helps you. It sounds trite to say “the days are long and the years are short” but it is wholly true all the same. He helps us in our weakness. The gospel is good news for our children, but it is for us too. And He works on our rough edges.

Partnerships

I think it is very important to have people who support what you’re doing. I already mentioned my husband. He was always 100% behind me. He always backed me up. He took disciplinary calls from us during the school day. He listened to narrations. He tutored math and science. Homeschooling could not have happened without him. Period.

Extended family helped – watching kids so I could run errands, go to conferences, etc. My MIL gave me her set of the pink CM volumes – a gift I did not appreciate early enough.

Having a church home where many of us homeschool was invaluable. That my kids’ people are the people who we worshipped with and did co-op activities with midweek made a tremendous difference. Other moms poured into my kids, it made a difference. Our pastors often pray for all students and teachers including our homeschooled families specifically during worship. As the gospel binds us into a family, that family came through.

And, I will add here, my online people have been invaluable to me in my personal understanding and growth and that spilled over into our homeschool. *I* could not have done it without *you.*

Being equally yoked and pulling in the same direction matters. And, of course, Jesus tells us that his burden is easy and his yoke is light. His, through the Holy Spirit, is the most important support in the whole endeavor for us and for our children.

Some foundational steps

So … we’ve talked about my “why”; the travails of the task; and the people who walk alongside. I’d like to talk about getting started. What are some specific things to think about.

What do you believe about children and education? What are children? What do they need? “Every pedagogy has an anthropology.” How is that pedagogy served up? It may surprise some that it’s taken so long for me to get to Charlotte Mason whose philosophy finally made a breakthrough in how I beheld and served my family.

I like what she says: Children are persons and need what persons need. They need properly ordered authorities over them. They are served through atmosphere, discipline, and life. They need to make relationships with a large order of things. They need to learn how to use both their will and their reason. They need to know that all truth is God’s truth.

And so do I.

Conclusion

So, after all. I realized that my why for homeschooling was that I just wanted to be with my kids. I wanted to be with them on the good days. I wanted them to have their bad days with me. I did not want to send them away for hours every day. I wanted to have control over what they were learning and from whom they were learning it. (Even if I was not the direct teacher – and we outsourced a lot in high school – but I wanted to choose)

Mason talks about teachers as “philosopher, guide, and friend.” We are a philosopher – we ought to love knowledge, guide – we must walk along the way, and friend – as a friend to our children we provide what they need. I think that’s beautiful. Homeschoolers are less “teachers” and more “tutor” and eventually “mentor” to our kids. We study our students to make sure they get what they need – support, ideas, coursework, music, etc.

I’m so thankful that the Lord gave me the desires of my heart – I got to be both mom and teacher.